THE TWELVE DAYS OF KINDNESS ©
I love throwing confetti, much to everyone else’s chagrin. It doesn’t have to be New Year’s Eve. It doesn’t have to be a wedding or a celebration. Sometimes the confetti excuse is simply because it’s a beautiful day.
This holiday season let’s throw kindness into the air like confetti. Instead of the Olde English Twelve Days of Christmas from the 1700s, let’s change it up and make it The Twelve Days of Kindness this year. Goodness knows after the last 21 months of the pandemic there’s no such thing as too much kindness. I don’t mean the kind of kindness where we give ‘til it hurts or giving to others who take take take until our soul feels depleted. Steer away from all things toxic and people who make you feel shit, because as comedian Nat from Nat’s What I Reckon reminds us in only the way he can, “You’re not shit!”
Go beyond or around them to share kindness and create genuine joy for yourself. You’ll discover joy is exponentially contagious.
When you throw your joy around like confetti, your heart does The Grinch, aka it grows three sizes and suddenly you’ve found ‘the strength of ten Grinches plus two’. And trust me, from years of experience, it feels bloody awesome!!!! If it doesn’t feel great, do a quick audit—make sure you’re doing it because you want to, make sure it is something that aligns with your values, make sure you weren’t guilted into it, make sure whatever you give comes from your heart and not obligation. Choose your own path of kindness.
So hum along with me for the Twelve Days of Kindness. Some are silly. You will inevitably think some are dippy. Hey, nothing wrong with that—change them over to actions that align with your definition of kindness. Get out there and make the world a kinder place simply because of your existence.
The Twelve Days of Kindness
On the First Day of Kindness My Best Self Gave to Me: a Huge Hug ‘cause I am Enough. Pre-pandemic we all had days where it was hard enough to remember this. Now we need it blaring from a bull horn 24/7. You are Enough. You woke up. You are doing your best. That is enough. If you haven’t been hugging yourself before you brush your teeth every morning, recommence today. It’s magic. Starting the day with a hug of self-love works magic for reminding us of our worth.
On the Second Day of Kindness I Reached Out and Gave: Two Safety Nets. If this year isn’t a struggle for you, be someone’s safety plan. If family events are their trigger, schedule a phone call that gives them an excuse to leave if need be. Be their alternative plans to help them say no to something that would be counterproductive for them. Or reach out and make sure they know you’ve got their back when old demons rear their ugly heads. Be their sounding board or their safe place.
On the Third Day of Kindness I Reached Out and Gave: Three Pressies Wrapped. Do you know someone who lacks the dexterity to wrap pressies? A few years ago I rocked up next door with wrapping paper, tape and tags in hand. I had no idea how much it was going to ease my neighbour’s stress and anxiety about getting presents for her grandchildren ready. It only takes two ticks and makes a world of difference.
On the Fourth Day of Kindness I Reached Out and Gave: Four Not for Profits. If you haven’t had a good ol’ clean out in yonks, many not for profits are struggling to keep adequate stock levels. If you have items still in boxes that are suitable for re-gifting, your donation will empower someone struggling to make ends meet this year to afford pressies. I worked in our local Lifeline for many Christmases: re-giftable donations at this time of year are meaningful.
On the Fifth Day of Kindness I Reached Out and Gave: Five Jump the Queue’s. We all know how stressful shopping can be. If your day is calm and you have the time, let someone with just a few items, with less time or visibly frazzled jump the queue. Sometimes a little win like a queue jump is all we need to regroup.
On the Sixth Day of Kindness I Reached Out and Gave: Six Driver Coldies. Who doesn’t sigh for the poor garbo who gets stuck doing the bin run on Christmas Day? Run out with a wrapped Powerade. Or if you’re at the end of their run, there are so many flavourful zero alcohol beers these days you can even wrap up a coldie for their hard earned thirst.
On the Seventh Day of Kindness I Reached Out and Gave: Seven Crappy Jokes. I worked in a toxic workplace where some days almost every single team member would be dragging their chin on the ground with a sorrowful frown. I bump into former teammates now who still recall my godawful eye-roll inducing jokes. Mission accomplished. Laughter may not fix the problem, but it helps us cope. Keep a few up your sleeve.
Feel free to steal my favs:
Santa:
Q: Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
A: Elf-is Presley
Q: What do you call a dog who works for Santa?
A: Santa Paws
Q: Who delivers presents to baby sharks?
A: Santa Jaws
Maths and numbers:
Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine!
In the coffee line:
Q: What do call a cow that just had a baby?
A: De-calf-inated (decaffeinated)
Cheesey:
Q: When should you keep on eye on your cheese?
A: When its up to no-gouda
Q: How do the Welsh eat their cheese?
A: Caerphilly
On the Eighth Day of Kindness I Reached Out and Gave: Eight Candy Cane Car Bombs. Bombing cars with candy canes is fun for both the doer and the receiver. The next time you’re in the cheap shop, grab a bag of candy canes and drop them on the driver’s door handles or mirrors as you walk back to your car. You won’t be able to stop smiling the rest of the day – and that’s a candy cane promise!
On the Ninth Day of Kindness I Reached Out and Gave: Nine Big Fat Smiles. A friend recently participated in the Elisha Neave Ovarian Cancer Brisbane River Run in honour of the memory of her sister who passed in 2019. I was her cheerleader and sideline water bearer. I went down to the 8 klm mark to cheer her on and shout encouragement. Competitive running is such a different game now compared to the last run I did in the (ahem) 1980s. These days everyone has their headphones on and no one shouts out to each other as they pass. Running has become a solo endeavour rather than a collective experience. So I found myself clapping and cheering on everyone who ran past in those few moments and not just my friend. Later on at the finish line another competitor came up and said, “I was about to give up and then I saw you. You smiled at me and shouted encouragement. If you hadn’t been their smiling, I don’t think I would have finished.” Never underestimate the power of a simple smile. Your smile holds more power than you know.
On the Tenth Day of Kindness I Reached Out and Gave: Ten Macca’s Drive Throughs. Pay it forward. The next time you’re queued up at Macca’s, in the food court or visiting your favourite market food source, pay for the person behind you. Or if you saw someone living rough nearby, do a duplicate order and Santa drop it to them on your way back. Our HappyPause™ Pay It Forward partner is 2021 Victorian Australian of the Year Donna Stolzenberg’s non-profit The National Homeless Collective and their Period Project. We donate a portion of every HappyPause™ sale to their tireless work. Please donate if you can. If you’d like to listen to a poignant conversation with Donna about the good she does, this conversation with host Sandy Lowres from The Good Girl Confessional is the one.
On the Eleventh Day of Kindness I Reached Out and Gave: Eleven Happy Notes. If you haven’t discovered Charlie Mackesy’s book The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, grab a copy. You’ll buy additional copies to gift to others. Charlie regularly leaves sketches from his book taped to postboxes, powerpoles and mysterious places in the belief they will find their way to someone in need of hope or courage. Be like Charlie: create happy notes of your own to disperse. Scatter them on your morning walk, you never know who might need the words you wrote in that very moment when they pick it up.
On the Twelfth Day of Kindness My Best Self Gave to Me: Everyone’s Favourite Monopoly Card. Who doesn’t love a Monopoly ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card? Give yourself one. You’re allowed to set boundaries. You’re allowed to say no. Communicate your limits and present your Get Out of Jail Free card if you know you’ve got too much on your plate or you know an activity will be too much for you to juggle. No negative self talk. No should have’s. And when all else fails, return to The First Day of Kindness. You are hugworthy and more than enough.
Let someone know if Christmas sucks for you.
It is okay if you’re struggling with the holiday season. Find someone you can talk to. Even if they are full of holiday cheer this year, there will have been years past where they weren’t. They will understand. Their joy doesn’t negate understanding and compassion.
You are Not Alone
If you don’t feel like sharing with someone in your circle, Lifeline and Beyond Blue are always there. You’ve got this. And tomorrow will be a new day.
Lifeline 13 11 14
Beyond Blue 1 300 22 4636
Spread kindness wherever you can.
